I caught up on blogs this morning, after being too busy over the past few days. I was delighted to see Cincinnati’s masked crusaders featured not only on io9, but also on dcist. Io9′s take was decidedly more skeptical (“what could possibly go wrong?”) than dcist’s, with which I tend to agree. It is terrible that D.C. does not have a gaggle of misunderstood regular folk with sweet crime fighting potential taking to the streets as super heroes!
Since I don’t, you know, have an interview to prepare for by tomorrow, or anything else like that, I spent a good deal of my morning imagining who D.C.’s native super heroes could be. Actually, after coming up with some characters, then I started putting together back stories and asked my girlfriend what kind of costumes they would have, but she swatted me away and told me to ask her after work. After the jump, meet my D.C. costumed vigilantes, but first check out this amazing local news-produced piece on the Cincinnati squad:
Lady Freedom
The sun never sets on the face of Freedom. With her serene gaze, handy readily, steadily resting upon sheathed sword, and an inarguably awesome head piece, Freedom is an inspiring figure. That’s what Thomas Crawford was going for when he designed her in the 1850s, and so she remains more than one hundred years after moving to our nation’s capital. She may be strangely familiar to Hill dwellers and staffers who don’t get to use the special tunnels from the offices to the Capitol itself, as Freedom is the statue that gazes out across our city–nay, our nation–proclaiming our love of freedom to the world.
No one suspects that Freedom leads a rag-tag team of costumed heroes
You probably didn’t know that Lady Freedom is imbued with powers much like those of late-90s cartoon heroes the Gargoyles. From sunset to dawn she is as full of life as you and I. Tired of merely watching the world turn and seeing D.C. residents get the shaft on everything from voting rights to summer weather, she recruited a group of four promising citizens to help her correct injustice, fight crime, and protect our freedom.
Home Ruler
This unassuming (aren’t they always?) late-twenties bartender has a degree in Comparative Literature and wrote an honors thesis on independence-era literature in America and Colombia. He’s found that he makes more money mixing drinks than he could editing copy at a newspaper or taking an entry-level communications job, but he’s pretty happy. He’s a social guy. When he’s not working or donning the mask, he’s active in D.C. voting rights organizations. Statehood, in his opinion, is the only just solution; Congress has proved time and again that it is neither willing nor able to serve the interests of D.C. residents.
Peregrine Falcon
She spends her days in scratchy, uncomfortable nylon stockings, heels, and conservatively-cut suits, so changing into her spandex and sports bra is such a relief. At her day job, where she’s been since she graduated from college about ten years ago, she lobbies for the telecom industry. The irony of fighting injustice after she clocks out of a job based on perpetuating unfair treatment of paying customers is not lost on her; she’s fairly cynical but accepts complexity. PF enjoys spending her free time at the bars in Dupont Circle and also organizes a local book club.
Anna Costya
Anna is the single D.C. native of the bunch. Her mother’s family has been in D.C. since before the Depression. She’s fiery and fierce both in costume and out, and will not put up with your shit. She’s a student at American but struggles to pay tuition and keep her grades up. AC tends to be easily distracted, whether by hanging out with her childhood friends from the neighborhood or crime fighting or partying. She’s a regular at Phase One, but, of course, they don’t know her as Anna there. Like the eponymous river, Anna’s unique and beautiful… but dirtied and degraded by careless family and neighbors who don’t see her gifts. Sometimes this makes her bitter, but she also knows it’s a source of strength.
Escaleftor
Big E won’t tell you how old he is, but it’s north of forty. That doesn’t slow him down, as he stays fit by walking up and down the escalators at East Falls Church and Eastern Market each day. He sometimes feels out of place in the group as the only one without a college education, and he compensates by keeping his utility belt better stocked with gadgets than anyone else. Instead of continuing in school, he joined the Air Force after high school. Later he and his brother opened a business together, a small tourism memorabilia store near the Hill. His crime fighting specialty is monitoring the Metro for thugs, pickpockets, and left-standing ne’re-do-wells.
